U Prince Series: The Handsome Cowboy – Drama Review

U Prince Series, a Thai drama series, is making noise nowadays. It introduces 12 heart-throbbing male ambassadors from each university and chooses 12 lucky girls to date them. The first that I have watched, and probably my favorite by far, is The Handsome Cowboy. It stars Puttichai Kasetsin as Sibtis and Esther Supreeleela as Prikkang. Sibtis is from the Faculty of Agriculture who is known to be a charismatic bad boy and a handsome senior without a doubt. While Prikkang is a down-to-earth who dislikes arrogant and narcissistic people. These two met in mishap which made Prikkang disgusted by his character. Intrigued by her cold and cute personality, Sibtis tried to sway and win her heart.  Later on they discovered that they used to be childhood friends before Prikkang moved from the country side.



The character of Prikkang kinda relate to my toxic personality — well, not so toxic. What I mean is that she gets easily disgusted to people who are so full of themselves . She have these cute habits of shrugging off her shoulders, rolling her eyeballs, and blowing off cute expressions with her face. She’s kind of childish in this drama given that she’s an only child. She used to do part-time as a DJ a.k.a. DJ PK. She has friends who are also the hosts of the U Prince show. Everyone can easily fall for her cuteness and charm-like grace.



An epitome of a hearth-throb… but beware, he’s good at playing hearts too. Many girls are bewitched by his looks. He have this one girl whom he considered as “ex-girlfriend” but still clings onto him. I wouldn’t ask why, he’s sure known to be that irresistible! Apart from being too good looking in the university, he is also responsible as an heir in their agricultural land back in his place in the countryside.

UPS: The Handsome Cowboy


Their lovestory started when the two met in mishap, Prikkang got insulted when Sibtis arrogantly approached her and didn’t remember her name. Without a doubt, she ignored him and that eventually hurt Sibtis ego. From then on, he made a bet with his friends to make Prikkang notice and date him. Thus he made a lot of efforts which made Prikkang fall in love with him.

I love how the guy teases her with his 5G, it’s his made up punishment that he will give anytime if Prikkang won’t obey him. Thus, Prikkang agreed to him until they discovered that they were close childhood friends years ago. His character is so fun to watch as he was able to portray goofiness and humor in it.Those strategies just to get the attention of the girl were so cute. Not just that, when it comes to responsibilities, he’s serious. You will fall in love as he shifts his character into a persevere son to his father and how he shows effort to his family. But above all, he’s so damn handsome. He looks so fine from head to toe, I must admit. Even I, yourstruly,  have fallen into his charm.

Prikkang is such a lovely character. I think her stubbornness is what makes Sibtis fall for her. That moment in crisis when she has to face another day with him, another day of falling in love with him, but he can’t admit her true feelings. She’s clouded with the thought that Sibtis already has a girlfriend and she doesn’t want to be the other girl. She’s innocent when it comes to love and she’s unsure of what she feels towards him. It’s either she’s unsure or she’s afraid to get hurt in the end.


The countryside is such a perfect setting as their love story started to swirl. You can see how they play with the scenery and how the staff decorated the view even sweeter. Prikkang’s fashion is on top here. She dresses fashionably and classy. With Sibtis, well he looks handsome in whatever he wears… and even without top, jklol!10549

What’s disappointing is the guy’s aggressiveness towards girls, especially when his ex-girlfriend starts to distract him. He can’t resist his temptation! And I guess that’s the main problem in every relationship (just saying :P). Good thing, he got his lesson from there. Prikkang showed that when a woman trusts a man, he should never break it. And when it’s broken, it’ll be hard to mend.

UPS: The Handsome Cowboy is not just pure twee-tums but it also gives quotes in life at the end of every episode. So why don’t you watch now and tell me how you feel after watching the whole series? 🙂

Here are few of the cute scenes:

So silly, soooo inappropriate! Haha
They have this brother-sister treatment in the story, btw which is cute
I just can’t contain my feels, I’m sorry

UPS: The Handsome Cowboy OST

UPS: The Handsome Cowboy watch online

drama worshiper,





BtoB’s Story Version: SO PRETTY

Author’s note:

Hyunsik as Harry

Hyuna as Hazel

The story is written in Harry’s POV

Available on kriemheldonline.wattpad.com

Chapter 1

            “Guys, Karla’s coming!”

            “Dude, look at her. A total bombshell!!!”

            “Waaah. She is so fvcking gorgeous!”

            “How is she even a human?!”

True. How is she even a human?

Oh by the way, that’s Karla, the one they are talking about. She’s my girl.

“Girls, do you know that Karla is totes single now? She just broke up with her boyfriend! You know, that varsity guy?”

            “Oh my god! That’s news”

Kidding! She’s not really my girl. Though she’s my girl ─ I mean, she’s my type of girl. She is beauty and brains, talented, and she has nice sexy curves. Total package! Who wouldn’t die for her? Every man in this campus is all eyes on her, just how all girls are envy with her.

I and Karla are in the same block in the Engineering department, and not to brag that we’re friends since first year. Three years have passed and we’re still the same ─ friends. I hope our label would change now that she’s totally and finally single. HAHAHA! Not to mention that I’m also one of the heartthrobs here in the campus. Can’t you see it? We are a total match.

Oh wait…

“Hey, Harry! Can I invite you to a group study tonight? There were some stuff that I missed from Prof’s class yesterday. Is it okay?” That’s Karla talking. To me.

I scan through the pages of my planner to check my schedule. I removed my glasses and tucked it on my collar. Then I replied, “OH YES SURE,” while trying to look cool.

“Oh thank you, Harry! See you later!” Then she left.

YES! She’s asking me out. Big time. I usually act cool here in campus, especially when girls ask, and most especially when Karla’s the one asking me out. But deep inside, my heart was definitely grinning from the moon and back. She was like an angel fell from heaven.

“Pssh. She looks like a white lady.”

That’s an alien talking.


Chapter 2

            “Why does her boobs suddenly look bigger? Did she have an operation?”

Don’t mind her.

“It looks strange. Did you notice that?”

I don’t hear her. I don’t hear anything.

“Oppa! Oppaaaa! Oppayaaaaa!”

“Ouch! Why did you yell at my ear??? Why!” I yelled back and snapped at her.

“Because you are not answering me!”

She yelled again. God, I hate this alien.

I hissed, “You are so frustrating!”

She gave me a terrible look on her face; her eyes were fixed on me glaring like a thunderbolt. She’s angry. It means war.

I immediately put my arm over her shoulders, consoling her like a baby. “Oh, oh, oh, sorry. Oppa didn’t hear you. I was thinking something. Sorry. Sorry.”

She still looked upset. I swear she’s terrible like a monster when she starts like this.

“I’m sorry, okay? By the way, what brings you here? Don’t you have a class?” I asked in a very gentle way in order for her not to evolve into a terrible creature.

“Well, I… I thought I saw my classmate passed by here so I… followed her. Uhm… then I saw you!” stuttering. I know she’s lying but I pretended not to know.

She was so fast that she pinched my arm in a painful way. Ughh I seriously hate her!

“But you! How could you ignore your younger sister over that white lady? Heol! I’m even prettier than her! Ughh I hate you!” the alien spoke. Look at her guts?!

“Okay, okay, sorry!” I calmed her down before she makes a scene. “Yes, you’re prettier than her. Ah, oppa is very blind. Do you forgive me now?” Okay, she’s just an immature alien. Patience, Harry. Patience.

“Hmmm,” while childishly putting her hand under her chin. Seriously, this alien even has the guts to play coy!

“Well, that if you will treat me to dinner tonight!” she grinned like an evil.

“Treat you?! Treat?”

“Ah, you don’t want to be forgiven?”

“Okay. Okay. I understand. Sure.” Just to stop her. Hayyy.

I did what an oppa should do for the last time. “Come here, I want to hug you.” I hugged her, a normal thing to us. “We’re now friends, okay? Go find your classmate and go back to your class now. Yaaa, this kid! You better dress nicely tonight since Oppa is treating you, okay?”

She didn’t even hugged back. I faced her and pinched her face. She replied, “Uh. Uhm. Oh…oka…okay.”

She blushed. And for the first time in my life, she looked pretty to me.


Chapter 3

            That alien I was talking earlier was Hazel. Her name is just too pretty for her personality. I pity her name.

Well, many of you had probably thought that we’re siblings but hell, no. I wouldn’t want an alien in our family. But she’s a family friend. Her parents are the closest friends of my family. We grew up together though she’s three years younger than me, so our parents expected us to become the super closest friends too. And look how we’ve become!

She always follows me like a tail everywhere I go; she always clings to me like a crab every time we are together. We always fight yet I always lose to her. She does everything beyond my will. She can be very frustrating and annoying every time.  She always acts as a crazy spoiled alien younger sister to me, while I’m just a very, very good Oppa to her. I have been cursed since I met her!

Years ago, I got so frustrated once again in my entire life when she told me that she would go to the same school as mine. I convinced her not to go or better study in abroad because I am already so, so sick of her face. But that was the time when she confessed. She told me that she likes me.

“I like you, oppa. I’m not asking you to like me too. I just want to like you because… I like you. But please don’t ever change your treatment to me. I just want us to stay the same, like I’m your younger sister and you are my older brother. Just…Just allow me to like you.”

            I was dumbfounded when she told me that. But since she told me to remain the same, so we remained the same. I understand her. Since her Oppa is a real heartthrob, there was really a higher chance that she would fall for me. Blame it to my charms!


Chapter 4

            Time went quickly as our last period ended.

I called, “Hello, Hazel. This is Oppa. Sorry, I can’t make it tonight. I’ll be meeting Karla. I promise next time. Okay? Bye,” hung up and proceeded to the group study.

As I headed my way to the nearest coffee shop before going to the meeting place, an unexpected girl blocked my way.


Wearing a light green floral dress, white flats, and in a low pig-tailed hair, she appeared in front of me.


It was Hazel. I was surprised. I could have thought of any lie or any excuse not to get caught by her. But Hazel, her looks became unfamiliar. I wasn’t able to bat an eyelash the moment I saw her standing before me. To my surprise, I felt strange toward her.

“Why are you here?” I finally spoke out.

“If you’re not going to treat me to dinner tonight that means you will be doomed forever!” she uttered these words.


“Look, Oppa, I already dressed up and now you’re telling me you can’t?”

I swallowed a big piece of saliva. I don’t know what to say. I’m cornered.

She looked down and said, “And besides, I’m already hungry too.”

There was silence between us. Until she spoke again.

“Are you going to choose that white lady over me?”

Yes! Or no? I don’t know. I can’t tell.

She looked straight to my eyes. She smiled bitterly. “It’s okay.” Just like that, she turned her back.

I realized I won for the first time. But why do I feel pain inside?

Just then, I finally made a decision. She lost to me but I can’t lose her. And no matter how I try, I still can’t lose to her.  Before she was able to make a few steps away from me, I grabbed her hand and told her, “Let’s go on a date.”


Chapter 5

            “Oppa?” her eyes felt like asking me.

I smiled. I have finally decided to choose her. I forgot everything about the group study and all my thoughts about Karla just vanished. “What do you want to eat?” I asked her.

“Ice cream!” she answered immediately.

“Ice cream? You want to eat ice cream? Ya, this girl, I thought you’re hungry?”

“No. I… I just lied. I… I already… ate at home.” She looked cute when she stutters. That’s good, I already had dinner too.

We ate ice cream and drove her home. We were so silent as we went together. I felt the unexplainable tension between us. It was new. We became different as she became unfamiliar and special to me.

“You’re home.” We got off from the car. We were in front of their house. Only the thin air was listening to us. I finally voiced out before she got inside and not being able to solve this unexplainable tension between us.

“Hazel. Are you… mad at me?” What a dull way to start a conversation!

“Yeah!” she said while looking away.

“I’m sorry. But I chose you. So why are you still mad?”

She still looked grumpy and didn’t answer me. She was playing hard to get and wanted me to answer my question until I realized, “Are you perhaps… jealous?”

Unexpectedly, she nodded. She nodded like a crybaby. I laughed. I put my arms over her shoulders. I lifted her chin as she was looking down. She was probably shy. “Tell me. Why?”

She finally looked up, but unable to look me straight to the eyes. She cleared her throat and replied, “Truth is, I’m jealous not because I envy Karla as her but because I’m jealous every time you are together,” frowning and pouting her lips. The more she gets mad the more I get attracted to her.

I laughed. I looked at her intently and focused on her face. Why does she look so pretty for the second time in my life?

I was about to laugh but then she threw a fist and said, “You’ll be dead if you’re going to laugh at me again!”

After her saying that, I immediately sealed my mouth. She’s the only girl who could threaten me like this. “I won’t laugh anymore.” I pinched her cheeks, “Awwe. My younger sister is jealous. Don’t worry. From now on, Oppa will gonna choose you over other girls.”

“Really?” her eyes widened. Still so cute.

I nodded and smiled.

She blushed. Again. My favorite part of her. It was so obvious that she’s flattered. She was trying not to react but her smile was from ear to ear. She wasn’t able to say something until she did her cute trick. She quickly kissed me on the cheek and swiftly ran away.

Wow, that girl just stole a kiss from me!

She was already near their gate when I called her, “Ya! Hazel! Hazel!”

She stopped. “Come. Come, come, come here! You go back here.” I turned into the old Oppa ordering him. My face looked serious. She felt embarrassed, it was obvious in her face. She walked back to me, like a kid who’s afraid to be punished.

That gave me the drive to do this: I pushed her close to me and kissed her. I kissed her on the lips. It was so soft and sweet. I adore her.

            It was just a few seconds but those seconds felt like a while. I hugged her after. “Goodnight,” I said those words and faced her. Her face looked shocked. And once again she blushed.

She blushed prettily.

 | THE END |

Listen to BtoB’s So Pretty https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quGSRJih92U

BtoB’s Story Version: LAST DAY

Author’s Note:

Ilhoon as Ivan Parker

Seohyun (4minute) as Shane

The story is all written in Ivan’s POV

You can also read it on kriemheldonline.wattpad.com

Chapter 1

            “I want to go to Lake Tahoe tonight,” Shane asked me to bring her to the place where I proposed to her, had our wedding, and shared our first kiss together as a couple. Part of me doesn’t want her to bring there at this hour but she insisted. I still had to put the baby to sleep, but now I think I have to call a babysitter for this situation, and do the dishes after. You see, I need to take care of everything before going out tonight.

“Please?” blinking her eyes and pouting her lips like a baby trying to persuade me.

Looking at her looked so cute that made me laugh. “Yes, of course. When did I ever say no to you?”

She giggled like a five-year old kid receiving a lollipop from her dad after hearing my answer. That smile of her was just so priceless. Seeing her in that picture was my joy.

“I just need to get some things done in a sec. Stay there, Hon.” I said while hurriedly going upstairs.

“And oh, please bring my coat too. It’ll be cold outside. Thanks!” She said and still smiling.

I went to check the baby.  Sam is peacefully sleeping in her new sleeping pajama. My little angel is so cute; she’s just three years old but already resembling a lot from her mom. I called our next door babysitter through the phone to come to our house and take care of everything while Shane and I will be going out. I kissed our baby goodnight and went to our room. I would always see our wedding picture hanging on the wall every time I enter the room. That was one of our happiest days together. I searched through my closet and changed up. I and Shane share the same closet together. So I searched for her favorite yellow knitted coat and took it out. I went to the table and put my perfume on, her favorite scent as she always tells me. To my clumsiness, the picture frame fell down from the table. I immediately picked it up noticing that it was one of our favorite photos together. The photo was taken during our high school senior’s prom; we were dancing together, Shane in a blue silk gown while I was in a white tux with a rose in my right hand. Oh those moments! Moments with her are still so clear in my memory.

I was brought back from my trance as the doorbell rang. It must be the babysitter. I put the frame back to its place and ran my way downstairs.

“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Parker!” greeted the young babysitter from the next door.

“Good evening too, Diana! Sam is sleeping upstairs. Shane and I will be going to Lake Tahoe for a while,” I said.

“Lake Tahoe? Oh, it must be a date! Have fun then! And oh, be careful, Mrs. Parker, it’s cold outside,” said Diana with a smile flashing on her face. Young teens these days are so full of excitement.

We waved goodbye to her. “Sam really likes her a lot,” Shane smiled.


Chapter 2

            We arrived at Lake Tahoe. It is just a 20-minute drive from our house. There were some few people strolling around, couples dating, and families in a walk. It was just 8:45PM and I saw a man holding a bouquet of flowers as he entered the place. I think there might be a proposal that’s going to happen. Oh, reminds me of the old days with her. I coughed in force.

“Why?” Shane immediately noticed.

“I think someone’s gonna propose tonight.”

            “I wonder what this place has that made couples do proposals and weddings here. Hmm.” She blunted with a sweet laugh.

Shane and I have been together for almost eleven years. We were high school sweethearts and never parted ways since then. We went to the same college, graduated together, and even went to the same working place. Our relationship may not be so special because we almost spent time together 24/7 but never did our love tarnish. We married each other and blessed with a cutesy three-year old baby girl Sam who resembles her a lot. Our plans in life were just in perfect track until—

“Ivan. Ivan. Ivan?” Shane calling me.

I didn’t notice her from behind, my bad! “Sorry! Are you cold?”

‘I’m tired.” Shane was sitting on her wheelchair while whispering these words.

“I’m tired.” She repeated it again with tears about to fall.


Chapter 3

            Our plans in life were just in perfect track until a bad news came last year. It was her birthday when she suddenly fainted. We immediately rushed her to the hospital and stayed there for almost a week for her platelets were intermittently dropping. Week after, the doctor delivered a bigger bad news to us.

Shane was discovered to have leukemia. Already in late stage.

She was already sick in her 20’s, just a year later after she gave birth to our child. We did several tests, checkups, treatments, etc. but the Doctor told us that it was too late already. Her days are counted.

I was so afraid that I would lose her any moment. I wanted to punish myself for not knowing about her condition earlier. I could have sent her to checkups, underwent series of tests, got her to hospital and be treated sooner. I hated myself for being such a loser and a lame man, I felt sorry for her. But all I have done was cried, wept over and over again. I could have done anything else. With her remaining days, I stayed with her every time. I even gave up my job just to look for her and be with her. I treated her like she was fragile as she got frailer over time. I couldn’t help it.

Shane’s doctor allowed her to get out from the hospital. It was one of Shane’s wish to stay in our house while waiting for her days (saying these words just crumpled my heart). I wanted her to stay in the hospital and get proper treatment but she insisted, and I always couldn’t say no to her.

And now I get it, it was one of her long time wish.

“I want to die here in the same place where we had our proposal, wedding, and first date together while seeing your face alone,” she told me after our wedding day.

How dumb of me not to realize this. And so again, I was too late in picking up signs.

Tonight is probably going to be our last day.



Chapter 4

            “Do you wanna sleep for a moment?” I said while holding back my tears.

Still in her smiling face, “If I will sleep now, I probably won’t ever see you again.”

Signs. She was giving another sign. I was never afraid in my whole life than this day. “Are you…” I cried hard “…Now leaving me?”

I felt farewell in front of her eyes. She nodded, “Take good care of our child.” Her hand reached my chest, “And of course, your heart.”

I clasped her hands together with mine, “Are you really ready to leave me now?”

“I have to,” in her weakest voice. She laughed quietly. “No more late night talks with you, late phone calls at night when you go overtime, no more constant nagging from me. Going back those days feels just like yesterday, but today’s the last day that we’ll ever be together.”

I have been ready from the beginning that I will lose her some time. But how could it be too soon? I looked up at the sky, but even the stars we saw together also look weaker.

“But I am not ready to send you off,” I sobbed.

“I love you,” she closed her eyes as the ticking of my watch began to stop.

The morning without her will come. Tomorrow everything will be gone. But she will always be alive in my memory. That night, granting her last and final wish, was our last day together.


Listen to BtoB’s Last Day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5aUWkUA5I0





            ”Do you wanna sleep for a moment?” he said while holding back his tears.

Sending someone to sleep was never easy for Ivan. He had feared that sleeping for a moment would turn into forever… because any day might be their last day together.

BtoB story version: KILLING ME

Author’s note:

Changsub as Chris

Chorong (APink) as Casey

The story is all written in Chris’ POV starting from Chapter 2

Available on https://www.wattpad.com/kriemheldonline

Chapter 1 (Author’s POV)

            Busy feet roaming around, neon lights glowing, and smiles are in a dancing wave among the people joining the parade holding colorful lantern lights as they walked around the streets of Suwon, Seoul. It was an annual Lantern Parade celebrated by the citizens of the place, and even outsiders and foreigners every year. It was a very colorful and happy night for the people who witnessed the celebration just as smiles were seen among them ─ well, except for one. He’s Chris, a 20-year old boy living life in a mess.

He can’t understand why people find joy in lights, colors, and flying lanterns where he see them as mere objects and don’t mean a thing. Probably because he came from a broken family, living in his father’s side with two half-siblings and not receiving love at all. He has a dark side and was living in a delinquent life.

Looking up at the sky away from the crowd as he uttered, “Those things are so useless.”

“I don’t think they are,” a voice butted in.

Chris was flabbergasted from the familiar voice behind him so he turned around and faced her. “Well, I think they are. Lighting lanterns, sending them off to sky, you feel happy for a few hours, then gone while contributing toxic the next day,” he said.

The girl was already expecting the answer but didn’t lose her stance, “You don’t understand the feeling─ may it be happiness, hope, or love, it gives to the people. You don’t understand because you have no heart and you won’t ever understand.”

“Oh, and you think you know me?” says Chris in a challenging tone.

The girl took a few seconds to answer and sarcastically laugh, “Dear Chris, I’m the only girl in this whole universe who know you… capital K-N-O-W, since the day you hated the world. And let me remind you, that was a flashy seven years ago.”

Solved the puzzle. The girl was Casey, Chris’ most trusted person in the whole wide world.

Chris then finally burst into laughter. “Yeah, thanks, I’m reminded.” His eyes scrutinizing her from head to foot, “Since when did you arrive?”

She went beside him and curled her legs as she sat on the pavement. “Just now,” a smile flashed on her face.


Chapter 2 (Chris’ POV)

            Yes, seven years have passed since Casey became my closest friend and she’s still the same person that I only love since then. Let’s say it’s an unrequited love, a one-sided thing that I’ve been keeping since we were thirteen.

It was a spring break when we met here in Suwon. She’s originally from Gangnam but she has an aunt who apparently lives the same block as my father’s house. I was only thirteen when my parents separated, and I was dragged down to live with my father. I was an only son until I discovered that father has two other sons ─ so that made me have two older half-brothers. Those years I was living in mess; I hate my mother for turning her back away from me, hate my father for keeping secrets and not treating me as his real son, and loathe myself the more (Of course!) for being born in this world. I wanted to get away, I wanted to kill myself.

I was thirteen since I lost hope in this world, and that was also the time when I resurfaced from the brink of killing myself because I met her. I met Casey. She comforted me through all those times, and stayed beside me. We became good friends.

But two years later, her parents decided to migrate in the States. “Why do people always leave me? I have lived miserably, and the only person whom I thought I only have will leave me,” I said in exasperation. After hearing the news, I begged her not to go. I cried like a fool. I thought my world was going to part without her, and had to die again.

But she promised me one thing. She promised me that she will be back. She will be back every year here in Suwon. So she left.

Who am I to stop her from leaving? I was just a young fellow who can’t do anything. But I held on to her words and waited for her. And then one day she came back. From then on, she comes back every year. My happiest days were those days she came back for me and spent memories together. So we became the closest friends.

For the last seven years, I remained the same dark, cold-hearted young man who still hates everything in this world. I haven’t reconciled with my mother yet and haven’t seen her since she left. Although my father and I still living in the same roof, every day feels we are in a cold war. But I continued living. I went to school, but became delinquent in my studies. But at least, no longer have thoughts of ending my life. I grew up with many people hating me, I hated them too. Though there were some who treated me well out of pity, but I still hated them for making me feel helpless.

Yes, for the last seven years, I turned like an animal. But I only become a human when she’s around. And we keep seeing each other like this every year. But she still doesn’t have any clue toward my feelings for her. To end this unrequited thing, it’s time for her to let her know.

Tonight I’ll let her know…


Chapter 3

            “How are you?” Casey asked.

“Still the same old Chris,” I smiled.

“Still the same old Chris hating the world?” she said as she went closer to me.

“Hmm. A little less?”

She laughed. “I know. Because I’m now here.”

Yes, because she’s now back. Having Casey by my side feels so great that I could almost own the world. I looked at her face, but she was looking away. I wanted to ask so many things about her. Is she doing fine in the States? What happened to his old suitor that she told me? Did she finally reject him? And does she ever love me too?

“So… How are you?” I asked.

“Still the same old Casey. You know what, I’ve gained a lot of guy friends in the university. But don’t worry, they know about you,” grinning her pretty face.

I was surprised. “About me? Like what?”


Totally clueless. I was eager to hear her answer.

“Like I have a best friend way back home in Seoul and no one will ever, ever replace him duhh!”

Oh yes, that was the answer. What was I thinking? Thinking that she might have introduced me to her friends as her boyfriend? Huh! I slightly felt embarrassed but I smiled to cover it. We moved to a wooden bench and continued our conversation. I once more felt at ease with her but deep inside I felt tensed; looking for a right timing to tell her.

“Chris, I have something to say.”

She looked serious as her eyes were intently focusing through mine. I thought I was the only who have something to say. I was about to tell her, but it’s okay. I’ll go after her. “What is it?

“I’m leaving.”


Chapter 4

            “You just came from the States and now you’re leaving?” I answered.

“No, I’m leaving. It means I won’t see you again.” From her personality full of surprises, she surprised me.

“Casey, I don’t understand. Why?”

“It was only last year when my parents met their new business partner. We will move to England, and this time we will live there forever.”

“But you can come back again, like every year, right?”

“No. They warned me just last year not to come back again here in Suwon. But I begged them to let me just see you for once so I could tell you properly. They never like the idea of going back here every year, in the first place. But I did everything just to please them and because it’s a promise I gave you.”

Her tears were falling down on her cheeks. While I, being so dull, still couldn’t understand the situation. I just knew her parents don’t like me. Well, no one ever liked me, at the beginning. Only her. But why is she leaving me?

She continued, “They set me up to a fixed marriage with the family’s son. My parents think it’s our only choice to save our business. I agreed to the proposal. And marrying him means cutting off lines with you, stopping our communication, and forgetting each other!”

My world stopped. Everything became so blurry and dull.  Her confession shot me like a bullet straight to my chest. I was about to tell her that I love her, and then now I’m going to lose her.

“But I love you.” I finally confessed and began to cry.

“I know,” she said.

Our eyes met. We were both in tears. Would telling her about my feelings would stop her from marrying someone else?

She shrugged her shoulders saying, “Why did you just say that now? When it’s all too late? You think I don’t know? Huh! But that won’t change anything. I’m already set up! I can’t do anything. I cried for weeks and weeks begging my parents to stop the engagement because I have you, so I can’t marry other man. But their mind is already set.”

“You love me too?”


Hearing her that she loves me squeezed my heart.

“Then don’t marry him!”

“Chris, my parents’ business is in a brink of bankruptcy! Marrying him is the only thing to save it. I can’t!”

“So what do you think am I going to do with my life now? Tell me, what am I supposed to do?” I couldn’t bear it. I feel so hopeless once again in my life. My world has been shattered.

“Live the life you wanted.”

She can’t say that. I can’t breathe without her. “Why do you need to leave me? Why? Why? Why? Please, I don’t want to lose you.” I’m hurt. Deeply wounded.

“Let’s stop seeing each other anymore. Let’s end everything we have.” She was very calm but I know it took her to muster her courage to say those words. She was playing fake. Deep down her, she wanted to just stay and fly away with me.

“Don’t go.” I held her hand. In my most pitiful face, I begged her. I kneeled down before her, crying. “I think I’m going to die again. Please save me.”

“Let’s forget each other. Please let me go.” Her words killed me.


Chapter 5

“Do you know that I only live up until now because of you? You are the reason why I live; you saved me from killing myself. Until you hurt me. Why do you keep on doing this when I’m hurting so much?”

I couldn’t tell these words to her. I let her be. She left away.

She left me broken and trying to puzzle out everything that happened tonight. She told me to let her go. How could I when I couldn’t forget her? Her memories will keep on lingering me, I will always long for her, that’s for sure.

Now I found no reason to live, I’d rather die under these colorful lanterns in the sky. Seeing her leave like that is just killing me.


Listen to BtoB’s Killing Me at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-wNPQfGUbA

20 Thoughts

“How does it feel to become 20?”

This has to be one of my questions 4-5 years ago when I was at the peak of curiosity in life. A child has this never-ending questions in his mind that make you scratch your head to think of an appropriate answer that would fit his scope of understanding , but a teenager has the most intriguing and thought-provoking ones which make you think and see a bubbled vision at the same time. I already passed this stage and now I’m at it.tumblr_nklx4gNZCm1qz8q0ho1_1280

How does it feel to be 20? Exciting. Grateful. Nothing changed.

Twenty is an age made up of 2 and 0. Simply, it is just a number. But when you think again, this is the start of adulthood. According to the famous psychologist Erik Erikson in his Psychosocial Development Theory, this belongs to the age group of Intimacy vs Isolation where one starts to seek for companionship and divulge in romantic relationships, or else you’ll be in seclusion. Thus, I hereby say: Welcome, self.

But then again, a beginner adult like me doesn’t run out of thoughts. So I came up with my 20 thoughts in a list:

1. Friends. They either make or break you. I’m proud to say that I have the dopest sets of friends in my life. Coz I know that I’m friendly enough to be blessed with these good people. I have barkadas, closed, and best friends, I don’t want to doubt them but I wonder who will remain & stay in the long run.

2. Family. What if these people I call family are the ones causing me heartaches every time?

3. Studies. I’m more dedicated to finish my course, yet I’m not just certain to continue med or just to become a nurse and not loving it.

4. Dreams. Do come true. But how? When I’m uncertain? In doubt? Unsure of? When these dreams seem impossible to be?

5. Identity. What if one day, I wake up & realize that I’m not really straight?

6. Society. I have always hated society’s prejudices.

7. Religion. Not that I doubt my faith, but my religion. Yet, no religion will save you. Still, where should I go?

8. Disease. What’s worse to have? A disease of the heart? Or a disease of the mind?

9. Trust. I have a lot of trust issues.

10. Happiness. I easily become joyful over little things but I always seek genuine happiness. That feeling when you’re in tears of joy? I want to have that.

11. Secrets. My secrets are just too many that even my concealed emotions are part of it.

12. Questions. Always have a lot in mind.

11. Answers. Always seeking for one. I want an answer!

13. Horrors. My life is a sad horror.

14. Peace. I want answers so much par equal to having an inner peace. I’m in constant battle with the conflicts of my life.

15. Failure. Coz I’m afraid to fail and be called such.

16. Intimacy. Not ready for a romantic relationship yet. But it’ll be exciting, for sure, if I get to have one! Why not?

17. Love. I’ll always find love in every way. I hope it’ll find me too.

18. Self. Still searching.

19. Future. The thought of it excites and scares me at the same time.

20. Now. Welcome to this new adventure! Embrace it!

| Written on September 15, 2015 |

Blogger’s note

Hello! First and foremost, I would like to thank you for visiting my blog and taking time to read some of my writings. This blog consists of stories and reflections in life, anything I’d think of under the sun. There are actually a lot to see here. And to know this mysterious (am i really?) person behind it, I will share a brief wiki of yours truly.

I am Kriemheld Kriel Straecy Grace Baldoz Bajar. What you read isn’t a tongue twister as what everybody usually say, those words are my legit name. But need not to worry, I prefer to be called by my loved nickname — Bubbles — this really has a bizarre history so never mind why I got it. I’m a 95-liner living in Visayas, Philippines. I might not go over about my height and weight because it might ruin your imagination of me. Just stay track! (Haha!)

I am a nursing student. I was a shiftee from Mass Comm but then I decided that wearing a white robe and a stet around my neck suit me better, well at least! So yes, I plan to take up Medicine after. I would humbly say that I don’t have a talent, if there is, well it’s nothing special though. Yes, I’m a pessimistic optimist kid, I’d say. I am an introvert kid and tend to be emotional over little things.

Three adjectives that world perfectly describe me: chatterbox, pluviophile, and old soul.

I’m just a typical lass like some of you. And the reason why I have this blog because of some issues and thoughts that keep on lingering me while I’m becoming more aware and mature in life. I am still in search of myself. There are a lot of ideas I wanna draw around, a lot of things I wanna say. More to explore in life, so join me as I share it with you through writing! Carpe diem.


bestfriends-friends-girls-hair-Favim.com-891285After numerous cancellations, we finally decided to go out of town when summer class ended. So it happened. It was my first time to go out of town without my parents chaperoning me. I was alone ─ alone with my best of friends whom I call as “beasties.” Funny it may seem, but we became friends just last year and clicked immediately.


Okay so went to Tumaghong Falls and it was again my first time to go to a place that looked ethereal. The next day we went to Simala. Finally! I’ve always wanted to visit the place because I know the place is kind of holy and I also heard that wishes are granted here. So we sent letters of our wishes addressed to Mama Mary, prayed, and bought souvenirs. My most favorite thing in this whole trip was the bond and moments we had made. It strengthened our friendship; it deepened the relationship between us.


I hope those photos we took, from the bus to where we landed, will still be alive 20 years from now. Those captured moments will remind us how and what we were as time flips to 2035. I hope we will still be the Beasties till the very end.

| Written on May 23, 2015 |